Keeping our eyes and hearts open

I’m sort of conflicted on how to write this update.  The short version is:  there’s no update.  Everything is still on hold until the home study is written.

The longer version is:  For the first time in this process, we are starting to see waiting kids pop up that we qualify for (due to Elliott’s age and our home study progress).  So we’ve requested two files.  The first one had already been requested by another family.  The second should come in sometime this week.

We had originally said we would just go through the typical process and get sent a referral from South Korea.  I like this because it takes the emotional strain of choosing out of our hands.  Even reviewing the waiting children feels so difficult to me.  We have to be realistic about what kind of quality care we can provide considering we already have two young children, but I hate clicking through to the next child, essentially saying no because of some kind of condition beyond that child’s control.

Once upon a time in Florida, Josh and I were talking about Tiger Woods 8-bed/9-bath house in Windermere.  I told him if we ever had that kind of money or that kind of house, I’d want to fill it with adopted children.  Obviously that’s an oversimplification of meeting an adopted child’s needs, but that’s still where my heart is.  Bring all the orphans to me.  I will be their mother.

Anyway, I’m trying to fight that part of me and think logically so we make the right decision for everybody.  Even with the first file we requested, I researched the child’s medical issue, read many journal articles, stared at that sweet face and imagined this child as part of our family.  All within a matter of hours.  I felt so happy that another family had done the same and requested the file first, but at the same time, I realized how easily I will get emotionally invested in these children as we review their medical information.

So that’s where we are right now.  Waiting on the home study, but also reviewing children we could match with immediately.  The children we are reviewing have moderate to potentially severe special needs (really hard to know the full situation without reviewing the file), predominantly physical complications, so we are thinking about how we could best accommodate those needs — from doctors to insurance to time/attention for therapy to housing accommodations.

Fingers crossed that the home study is ready soon!  Based on the original timeline, we expect it any day now!

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